dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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