So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
