Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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