Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
