I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Vodka?
Forever.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
