Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
