i just wanna soil my oats bro
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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