we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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