I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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