ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
