No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
