I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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