I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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