I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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