reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
