We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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