my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
