You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
