He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
