areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
