The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
