i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's rum buckets o'clock
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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