do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
