Kiss
Puke
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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