I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
