i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
