Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
