ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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