Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
