VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
