I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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