literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize