I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
