He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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