So drunk its hurt
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
