i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
