So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
