And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
