If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
did i walk over a car last night?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
