Kiss
Puke
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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