have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
