They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
