The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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