Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
