The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
