she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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