And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We have so much sex to catch up on
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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