I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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