It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Your penis caused this!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
