Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
